Monday, January 14, 2008

Thanks Mum

for giving me the gift of being able to create.
My Mum started off her working career as a seamstress in a women's boutique and Bridal shop, she then went on to designing Wedding dresses.
I remember as a child, her making all of my dresses, she was always either sewing or knitting something.
At the time I did not share the love at all and I know it saddened her, though she never actually came out and told me, but little things she did and said led me to know she truly wanted me to share in her passion. For my 8th Birthday she gave me my first sewing machine, I was less than thrilled, fast forward to my teen years and I was doing a Home Economics homework assignment which was to sew a stuffed toy, I got my thumb too close to the needle and sure enough it went all the way through, I screamed and jerked, breaking the needle off in my thumb, I remember running out to the kitchen to tell Mum and was hoping she would remove the foreign object but no, to my horror, she got the biggest smile on her face and that twinkle in her eye and said "Congratulations, you are now a true seamstress." To this day I can feel the shock and confusion, I felt when she did nothing to help my poor throbbing thumb, but felt it was instead a time for celebration.
I wonder if maybe a part of my hesitancy to embrace needlework like she did was because I was intimidated by how well she worked. She would always give me short cuts when it came to my Home Ec homework,of course I'd fight her on it, because the teacher was telling me differently, Mum would just shrug, roll her eyes and let me have at it. Everything she did always turned out perfect, and she was fast, me I was slooooooow and not so perfect.
Fast forward to present day and Mum is no longer here and oh how I miss her, but in the last year my sewing machine has not being put away for more than 4 days, I sew every day, it has become my therapy. I love to look at fabrics and visualize what that piece of flat cloth could in fact materialize into, when I come to a bump in the road, I think "What would Mum do ?" and generally the answer comes to me, maybe not right away but eventually, sometimes even as I sleep. I have now started my own busines, creating things for others, I love it and I especially love it when I know the recipient is getting as much joy from it as I did creating it. Now I know why my Mum was so keen for me to get on board the sewing train.
In the last couple of days I've made a purse for my BFF for her Birthday and today I designed and put together my first dress, for Reagan's best friend. Never in a million years did I think that one day I too would be designing dresses.
This evening as I sat thinking about this blog, wondering what to write, I had such a peace and happiness wash over me, I started thinking about the things I've created in the last few days, about some orders I've just received and how truly blessed I feel and then the date hit me, January 14th.
January 14th 1993 we laid my Mom to rest, January 14th 2000 I mis carried a baby girl at the end of my 2nd trimester, January 14th 2004 we laid my Dad to rest.
In past years I have absolutely hated and dreaded this time of year, especially todays anniversary of such sad things, but today I have felt nothing but happiness and joy I didn't even realise the date until 30 minutes ago.
I believe my Mom not only gave me a gift that sat unrealised until the last year, but she has also given me the best form of therapy ever.
When I am sat at my sewing machine, the whiles of the world fall away and it is just me, my fabric, the hum of the machine and my thoughts, my sewing takes me to my happy place.

Thanks Mum, I love and miss you.

1 comment:

Bean said...

Beautiful post, Penny - here's to your mama ((hugs))

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