Thursday, January 8, 2009

Children and cake make it all better

If you read my post yesterday you would have read that it was the anniversary of my mothers passing. Since she died back in 1993, Jan 7th has always marked the start of my 'Sad Period' and I hate it. Every year is hard, last year was the absolute worst and I fell into a depression that lasted for a couple of months, it was bad and it was scarey. This year as the date approached I began to feel fearful, I didn't want to feel that way again and so resolved that I would do something that would prohibit those thoughts, but I had no idea what. I don't know about you but I find myself talking to God on a pretty regular basis, it's not the down on my knees kind of praying, it's just conversation, much like I would have with a friend, so starting last week I started asking him to put a plan in the works for me in order for me to have a day full of joy and not sadness, little did I know that he was putting something together via Reagan, and that makes so much sense in the long run.
Sunday whilst I was wallpapering my stairwell Reagan came out to me telling me that she needed help spelling some words, the words were Blueberries, Blueberry syrup and Peaches. I asked why she needed the spellings and she informed me she was making up a recipe and was writing a list of what I needed to buy when we went to the store. Monday we went to the store and she reminded me she had a list too and asked if we had flour, sugar and eggs, because we needed those items too. I asked what she had in mind and she told me a Blueberry and Peach cake, hmmm, ok.
Yesterday as I was going about my day and doing all that I could not to feel sad Reagan came out to me and said "It's time to bake my cake." Honestly I didn't know where to start as she had the recipe locked up in her little 5 year old head, so I began by asking what kind of pan she wanted to bake it in, she looked in the cupboard and came out with a fluted tube pan, so the wondering was over, we made a Pound cake and added blueberries and peaches to it and OMG, it was soooo good.
We were both salivating over it as it was cooling and finally when it wasn't quite all the way cooled down we couldn't wait a moment longer. Reagan suggested we eat it on fancy china and have a tea party. What a great idea, I let her go to the china cabinet and pick the china and lo and behold she came out w/ my mum's wedding china.
And so yesterday afternoon we had a wonderful little tea party and celebrated my Mums life and I just sat in awe thinking how something so innocuous could possibly mean so much and heal a hurting heart.
Why does it make so much sense that it was Reagan who was 'put in charge' of turning my sorrow into joy ? Because she is the one most like my Mum and Grandmother, my Grandmother owned her own bakery and tea shop, my mother was an awesome baker and loved to throw high teas every Sunday. Reagan is my child who loves to bake and loves to set a fancy table and eat off of the fine china, just because it's pretty.
Today I am still feeling the joy and know that this year is going to be a whole lot different than last year and all because of a 5 y/o girl and a slice of cake.


Anonymous said...

How wonderful. The Lord has really blessed you and turned your sadness to joy.


Chris Brault said...

This made me teary, Penny...
You are such a special and wonderful person, and it shows in what Reagan did for you. That's definitely your mum's spirit in your daughter.

Kat's Credence said...

Children are the vessels to best deliver his love, in so many ways!

faerieeva said...

2There is so much wisdom in children. And so much joy. It's a good thing to remember on those days that they drive you absolutely insane, that there are these wonderful moments where they just know they need to hug you, or kiss you, or take the half chewed cookie out of their mouth to feed it to you...

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