Saturday, July 12, 2008

2 conundrums

If you can figure either one out please let me know.

1) A man is on a golf course, he's at the Tee Box, hits that little white ball several hundred yards in the air, over the tree line, around a bend and it lands in 3 inches of grass, the man then gets into his golf cart and drives to the very spot where that little white ball has landed, he is able to do this approximately 18 times in about 4 hours, yet when at home and is asked to go get the milk jug from the refrigerator he will go to said refrigerator, stand there with the door wide open and look inside like a deer looking into headlights, eventually closing the door and shaking his head swearing, "We must be out of milk, there's none left" Yet sitting right there on the top shelf is a big 2 gallon jug staring straight at him.
How is he able to find that little white ball that has gone on quite a journey, yet he can't see a huge jug of stationary milk sat right in front of him ?

2) A man stands at the edge of a putting green, he has a little white ball right in front of him, 50 yards ahead of that is a little itty bitty hole just a tad larger than the golf ball, the man will get down on his hands and knees, stand up walk around a bit, get back down on his hands and knees and look at that hole one more time, take his putter, with a smooth swing of his arm he hits that little white ball and it travels along the putting green, not stopping until it drops into that itty bitty hole.
Now at home, the man has to use the bathroom, he goes into the bathroom, lifts up the toilet seat and situates himself in front of a hole that is about 12 inches round, he retrieves his penis from his underwear and attempts to urinate into said hole, MISSING, hitting the back of the toilet, which then splashes around the rim, at the very end when there are just a few little sprinkles left he will shake, and for some reason those droplets fall onto the floor in front of the toilet.
How in God's name can he aim that itty bitty ball into an itty bitty hole 50 yards away but for the life of him can't aim and get a narrow stream of urine into a HUGE gaping hole ?

Anyone able to solve these riddles ? I'm stumped.


Stephenie said...


Now my husband has no problems finding any type of food anywhere but I have the 2nd issue as well.. I have complained about it SO much that he now sits and pees!

Marly said...

Ha! Uh oh, you had me laughing out loud, and now John wants to know why... ;)

Emma said...

hehehe! I also totally cracked up reading this post. So true in so many different scenarios.

Duckman said...

The solutions are really simple, as men, we think simple and small most of the time! The fridge is too big of a place to find things (and usually cluttered). We, as men, are goal orriented. The milk propbably doesn't get us anything we are after. LOL
As for the toilet, simply make the hole about the size of the cup on the golf greens. I know that sounds really messed up but I bet it would work. Did you know that some toilets have beads and thing built inside of them from the manufacture to help with these aiming issues. LOL
(Erin would let my comments go the way I stated them before so I tried to clean them up for you.)

Luvkids334 said...

Thanks for the insight Nick. I have to disagree with you on one thing though. If the man were able to find something in the refrigerator or cupboard without our help, the rewards would be totally worth it, there's no better foreplay than a man who knows his way around the kitchen.

As for 'toilet toys' that's not a bad idea, I know they have targets for little boys, maybe they should make golf ball ones for men so's they can direct and hit the ball down the hole at the bottom of the commode.

It was great to see this from a mans perspective though. Thankyou ;-)

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